Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps (by Daria)

        You’ve been working for the Manics for quite a while now. They're all really lovely and you got on well right from the start. You talk computers with Sean, housework with Nicky and…well, talking to James is…weird. Your conversations always border on flirtation, but only just about, and always with an undertone that suggests you're only joking anyway. But you have to admit that you enjoy it, it's nice to have some attention from him even if it's not entirely serious. Although last night he actually asked you up to his hotel room - but also in this playful I-don't-really-mean-it-it's-just-a-laugh way. So obviously you said "Of course I'd like to see how comfortable your bed is, honey." in exactly the same way and went to your own room. It shouldn't matter at all, but you can't help feeling that he's different today, more distanced than usually. You've been wondering about it all day long, thinking that maybe you'd got him wrong; maybe he'd really meant it. The thought that he really might want to sleep with you makes you dizzy. You wish you'd never started this stupid Are-we-or-aren't-we-flirting game, because it's got to the point where even you can't tell anymore how James means what he says, let alone how you mean what you say. But there's little chance of figuring it out tonight, what with Nicky sitting opposite you in the hotel bar, complaining about how his back is killing him and about how he misses his bed at home. All of a sudden, you spot James. Your eyes meet and you feel your heart beating faster. Then he looks away. "Hey, are you listening?" Nicky asks. You smile at him "Yeah, I am, sorry." So Nicky keeps ranting, and you force yourself to stop thinking and to listen. This works for a couple of minutes, but then you just have to turn your head again to look at James. Your face falls when you see him. He's talking to some tart, leaning over to her and whispering into her ear; she giggles, and then James takes her hand and leads her to the lifts. Nicky's seen it, too, and just looks at you, almost apologetically. You shake your head. "So what exactly is wrong with your back?" you ask, signalling that you don't want to talk about what you've just seen. Nicky sighs. "Well, you see…"
     The next morning you feel like being really bitchy to James, who looks very pale and obviously hasn't slept a lot, but then you decide to be civilised. You don't want to seem childish and perhaps even please him by showing how upset you are, so you're polite, but not friendly. That's how the next days pass. You hardly talk to each other and even though you've been telling yourself not to avoid him, you find that you feel better when he isn't around. Then it's back to London. You're both headed into the same direction and you find yourself sitting next to James on the Underground. The train is really crowded with people going home from work and a couple of tourists into the bargain. You're staring straight ahead, doing everything to avoid James' eye, when suddenly you feel his fingertips on your bare knee. Instantly, a whole colony of ants seems to be racing down your spine. His fingers are so soft and warm - and they touched the blonde tart. An image of the two of them on his hotel bed flashes up before you and you feel sick at the mere thought of it. 'Great,' you think, 'so now it's back to me. I'll do nicely until the next tart comes into his line of vision.' James keeps stroking you, and you know that if you don't want to start enjoying what he does, you'll have to do something about it. Quickly. You take a deep breath and then say very loudly and very clearly "Will you stop groping me!" In an instant the carriage goes quiet. Everyone is staring at you. James removes his hand, and you feel empty. You're praying that no one recognises him; never ever in your whole life have you felt so bad. You're just about to say something to him when the train pulls into a station and James just jumps out and disappears among the crowd on the platform. By the time you arrive at the next station, people have stopped whispering and staring at you and you make your way out, too. All you can think is 'I've got to see him', so instead of going home you take a cab to his flat. He's not there. But you can't go away, you're going to go insane if you don't get to speak to him, so you settle down on the steps leading to his door and wait. An hour passes. And another. And another. Finally, you hear footsteps, but as soon as James sees you, he turns around to leave again. You jump to your feet "Wait! Please." He looks at you, genuinely distressed "Do you know how much you've hurt me?" he asks. Now this was the wrong thing to say. "Do I know how much I hurt you?! Do YOU know how much YOU hurt ME more like!" you almost shout. He looks at you, his face blank. "Oh God, don't tell me you've forgotten. Don't tell me you didn't even notice." you say, not sure whether to feel angry or disappointed. He still doesn't say anything. You sigh. "The blonde…woman. You took her upstairs. In broad view of everyone." He seems shocked now. "Yes, I did notice." you add sarcastically, already thinking that you shouldn't have bothered. If only he wasn't so gorgeous… He looks up at you, despair in his eyes "We didn't…I wanted to but I couldn't. I wanted to forget you, because I thought you didn't…but it didn't work. I swear I didn't sleep with her. We went to my room and I sent her home again. I swear. Please. I wouldn't lie to you…Please." You just stand there looking at him. You really want to believe him. And considering how miserable he looks…You still haven't said anything. "F**ing hell, I don't have to justify myself!" he yells, exasperated at your silence. But he doesn't seem to want to walk away again. "You're right goddammit!" you holler back. He stares at you, surprised, then he laughs. "You're so…you, sometimes”.
You grin back at him "I accept your apology if you accept mine." He walks towards you, hand outstretched "Alright then."
You nod "Alright." For some reason you're still shaking hands, neither of you wanting to let go. You look at him, and he looks at you, and so you remain for some time, like frozen. Then he breaks your gaze and gestures towards the door of his flat. "Do you want to come in for a…?" his voice trails off.
         "Cup of coffee?" you suggest. Great, there you are again. Flirting or not? "Mmm, that's not quite what I meant." he says quietly, looking deep into your eyes again. "James!" you try your best to seem aghast at his suggestion, but it doesn't work, not with him so close. So you add, "I'd love to." in a low voice. Definitely flirting now. He can't hide his smile when he turns to unlock the door. You step into the dark corridor, then just stand there awkwardly, you in the middle of the room, James with his back against the door. "We could go into the living -" he doesn't get to finish his sentence, and the next thing you know is that you've flung your arms around his neck and pulled him so close that it's impossible not to kiss. His lips are soft and welcoming; they part almost immediately and he lets the tip of your tongue seek out his. He's a fantastic kisser, gentle and attentive and very, very sexy. You're cursing yourself for your stupidity - you could have had this ages ago. His hands move up and down your back, into your hair and back down to your waist to hold you even closer. You squint a bit and see that his eyes are closed in deep pleasure, but his face still expresses longing. "The bedroom is -" he nods towards the other end of the corridor, "- too far away” you conclude, pulling him down on the floor with you. F**k carpet burn, you want him now.
         He seems surprised by your eagerness, but doesn't protest. (Well, he wouldn't, would he?) You start pulling at each other’s clothes, hastily pulling off the fabric that keeps you from really feeling each other. All of a sudden, you remember that little scene on the Underground, and how you embarrassed him, and you decide you really need to make up for this. You push him down on his back and slide down, your breasts pressed against his torso. You dip your tongue into his navel and he takes a deep breath. Your fingers creep up to toy with his nipples, twisting them just so much that it slightly hurts. His hands tousle your hair as your lips wander further down on his body, over his soft hair to his stiff cock. "Oh God, don't stop now…" he mutters, his voice all hoarse. You can't help grinning. As if you could stop now. You softly move your lips over his shaft, making him groan quietly, and then take him as far into your mouth as you can, making him groan very loudly. "Yes" he sighs "YES!" His dick twitches in your mouth and you know that he's about to cum already, so you pull away. Immediately, he pushes your head back down into his lap, which really pleases you. You like the idea that he can't bear you to stop, but you do it anyway. "Please…" he whispers, but you muffle his protests with a kiss. Time for you to have some fun as well.
         You straddle him and guide his pulsating cum inside you. He gasps, but you bend down to kiss him again. His tongue darts hungrily around your mouth and his hands automatically move down to your hips, but he lets you set the pace, evidently enjoying it that you're in charge. You straighten up again, giving him a good view of your whole body and predictably his hands slide up to cup your breasts. He teases your erect nipples, rolling them between his fingertips. You bring your hand down to your clit and begin to rub, your other hand on his firm chest. He watches for a while, then gently pushes your fingers away from your swollen bud so he can take over. His thumb brushes against you, first up and down, then sideways, then in a tantalising circular movement. He builds up a steady rhythm, then slows down again. You rock your hips to and fro, squeezing your muscles around his dick, leaning back, so he can touch you more easily. Drops of sweat are forming on his forehead and his whole body seems tense, only waiting to explode. You remember the taste of his pre-cum and moan at the mere thought of it. You feel his fingertips on your lips and begin to softly lick them, then get greedier and suck them into your mouth, sliding your tongue around them. He arches his back and pushes deeper inside you, making your spine shudder. Mechanically, you increase your pace, riding him faster and faster while he teases your clit. You throw your head back and groan the same moment he screams your name and starts writhing uncontrollably. His c-- pumping inside you turns you on even more and you're barely aware of your fingernails scratching his chest as he relentlessly thrusts inside you. You're beside yourself with ecstasy and just keep f**king him until your orgasm finally subsides, leaving you to collapse on top of him in a trembling heap.
     He wraps his arms around you, cuddling you until you've calmed down. You run your hands over his smooth chest, listening to his heartbeat. "You know," he begins "I'm not complaining or anything, but this floor isn't that comfortable, so if we could kinda like move into the bedroom…" You laugh and pull him up. "So you think it'd be less exhausting if we did it in bed?"
"Oh, I'm not exhausted." he assures.
"Prove it." you grin, and then squeal as he lifts you up and carries you into the bedroom, his dick already stiffening again.